Painters X Three

“Hi!” I call out to the spry little man at the front door. “Come on in.” I hold the screen door of the Mansion open for Stanley Kim. He nods slightly at me before stepping into the front room and surveying the scene.

I follow him around from room to room. He mumbles some painter talk at me that I don’t understand, so I can’t write it down. But it’s evident.

He is NOT pleased.

He shakes his head. Strokes his chin. Clucks his tongue.

“I do it for $2700,” he announces.

What the hell?

My shock musta registered loud and clear. Why was my Mansion so much more expensive than CC’s house? She'd referred him to me since she liked his work and he only charged her $1200 for her little house. Granted the Mansion, unlike CC's abode, hadn’t been painted in awhile and as I was to learn later, needed much prep and prime but at this moment....???

I’m in shock.

“Uh....” I shake my head. “That’s a lot more than I was thinking.....” I manage.
He nods, “It take many coat. It is big color.”
“But I just want it all white.”
He nods. “I give you deal. $2500.”
$2500!!!???

Shit. There goes my trip to Italy.
Is this really how much it costs to paint a house? Maybe so. Like I said, I have no idea. It’s just that when I was expecting $1200 and it’s now down to $2500, well.....needless to say, I’m a bit confused.

What to do?

I certainly can’t afford that, I think to myself as Stanley fills out a form with his ‘quote’ on it. Shoves it over at me to sign.

I watch him walk back down the steps and climb into his maroon truck.

What to do now?

The only thing that I can—go for a swim.



II

“Blah blah blah blah cinco cinco cinco nuevo ....”
The next painter’s phone message is all in Spanish. I don’t know Spanish though do decipher the number 5 a few times in what must be another phone number to contact him. Do I leave my name and number and request for his availability in English even though his message is in Spanish?

Will he understand?

I do. Cuz what other choice do I have? I don’t speak Spanish, regrets galore about this, but I don’t, and so English will have to do and hope that he understands and calls me back.

“Hi. My name is Carol and I got your name from Nina and she recommended you as a great painter and I’m wondering if you can come take a look at my place and give me an estimate about how much it’ll cost and my number is....” here I pause, thinking I could maybe possibly leave my number in Spanish. I think I do remember how to count to 10 in Spanish...let’s see it’d be, cinco uno damn, how do you say zero? Damn! We never learned that.
Shit.

I go ahead and leave my number in English and hope for the best.

III

“Hi, Carol, this is John David returning your call.”
“Oh, great, hi! Thanks for calling me back,” I try to gather my painter questions for this third possibility.
“I can try to help you over the phone if that works for you?”
“That’d be wonderful,” I exclaim, relieved that I won’t have to try to set up another appointment around my work schedule.
“So, if you can, just walk me through the place. How many rooms?”
“It’s two bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room, kitchen and little breakfast nook area.”
“Great. Okay, and if you don’t mind, can you recall the status of the windows?”
I pause. The status of the windows? What the hell was he talking about? The windows are there and they open and close and.... “I’m not sure I know what you mean,” I answer.
“How many are there per room and what kinda shape are they in.” John is patient in that Woo Woo way that only a reco from JFKrazy can be.
“Okay, well, I think there’s two windows in each bedroom that seem pretty new and solid and then there’s a big window in the front room that looks like it’s from a 60’s track home.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, I know what you mean, you’re doing great. Any French doors or...”
“Yes, there’s French Doors when you walk in at the end of the living room and then another half a French door offa the laundry room....”
I continue to ‘talk’ him thru the house this way, answer that the place looks like it hasn’t been painted in a long time though I don’t know how long since it was vacant when I bought it, and that there are numerous spots where the paint has been scraped off and......
“Have you gotten any other quotes?” he asks. “I mean I wonder if you’d be willing to share those with me? I’m not usually the cheapest guy, and I’m not usually the most expensive but if you don’t mind sharing with me.”
I pause. What’s the protocol around this? It seems like a reasonable request, but then if he decides that he can’t match the quotes without even looking at the place?

Well, maybe that will be a sign, I think, trying to get into the woo woo spirit of this particular painter. I tell him the other two bids. I can feel him shaking his head over the phone
“Those sound pretty low to me. But listen, tell you what I’m gonna do. I’ll go and crunch some numbers and get back to you okay?”
“Sure, thanks.”
“No problem. You’re a part of the JFKrzy family and as such I wanna take good care of you, but I’m just not sure I can match that.”

IV

“Beautiful tree....Avocado tree,” Fernando nods as we stand together in the living room. I’ve just hired him to paint the Mansion and feel both excited and nervous.
“I am from El Salvador,” he continues. “And we have lots and lots of avocado trees. But the avocados. The fruit. It is different than here. The .....”
He loses the English and cups his hand to show the base of the fruit and then makes a long sweeping up gesture to show how the neck of he fruit is much longer in El Salvador than here.
I laugh.

Avocados.

Perfect.

I think I’ve found my painter. Whew.